Wednesday, 18 April 2018

Time to listen and live

The empty landscape can look like a master painting or a scene from a movie. The dynamics will change if something or someone comes and breaks the silence with a movement and sound. Movement is a crucial part of our lives, without going further on our journey, we are stucked and do not see the possibilities behind our mental borderlines. 

This is important to remember with our individual plans and also with our partners, friends or with a family. If we do not take our time to talk and do things together or take time to be alone every now and then, we will slowly loose the connection to ourselves and to our closest ones.

We even might start to think nobody is interested in what we think or what we want. But as eager as we wait someone will ask how are you doing, we have to be willing to ask the same question first. How am I doing and how are you doing?

There is nothing wrong with a small talk and I do not want to share my deepest thoughts with everyone. The answer to the same question might differ in different contexts and with different people. As long as we listen what the other person wants to say at that particular moment, there will be a positive effect, a shared moment and giving the attention. I can easily agree on all that I write, but sometimes I seem to act differently. This is a human condition, so much thinking or hesitation until something really happens or we take the action.

I think it is good to turn the attention to the outside world and stay not too long in the circles of our thoughts. Breaking the routines and surprising ourselves, making the space for meeting the friends and being attentive to our partners in life.

I had a very nice lunch at the beach with my husband last week. We changed our routine, we made an appointment for a friday. We had a great walk at the beach and at the dunes. The asparagus season is inspiring the spring kitchen in many restaurants. This version was quite heavy with eggs, butter sauce, ham and potatoes. We could not eat everything and I prefer a lighter version next time. But my company and the glass of wine was perfect. 

There are days when the "me time" is needed. A balance of taking your own time and  having the "we time" on another occasion is sometimes a challenge to plan. Both are so much needed. The time has to be our friend, the time to connect. We can't let the time to build the distance and any invisible walls. Instead of assuming what is going on out there or in someones mind, we have to use the presence and our daily life for keeping up reconnecting, listening and talking with awareness. 

In the end I want to share something personal. I have lived now for 3 years in the Netherlands and I always thought my language will develop enough during the years like it did when I lived in Germany(my husband is dutch, but we speak english at home and I speak Finnish with our children). But lately I noticed I am stucked on the same level and there is no development. It is possible to survive in Amsterdam with English, because it is a very international place to live. Also the natives are not very patient of listening if someone tries to speak  their language. Everything seems to go just more smoothly using the english. I have always tried to speak dutch and most of the times I can make a conversation and take part to situations in dutch in everyday life. But I am making grammatical mistakes in fast communication situations and I want to learn to speak more convincing and without typical errors, hoping one day no one will ask if I want to speak english instead of dutch. The thing is, people can understand what I say, but the conversation easily doesn't grow anything interesting. For me is a bit confusing to be in the borders of these two languages, because I understand dutch quite well. So to boost my language and get more correct and fluent, I will take part to intensive dutch course next month. I am now very motivated and also happy I did this little action. 

Spring greetings from Holland!