From France to Finland and back HOME

It is great to see new places and be surprised of the sceneries and details you find. On a holiday you have more time to watch and wonder. Our summer went very fast this year and mostly because we were so extremely active this time. Even it was a bit too much to go here and there, I felt totally relaxed after our traveling. At the same time this was not the most ecological thing to do. 

Compared to this fully booked summer, our daily life is quite simple: we walk and cycle to school and work instead of using a car, recycle, try to eat more vegetables, consider what we shop, do not take a shower every day:),the heating goes on only in very cold days, we turn off the lights when not in the room and try to educate ourselves being more sustainable family. We enjoy the basic things in life! Our children are more aware of the environment than we ever were. It is still hard not to feel quilty about flying so many times during this summer holiday. But otherwise my son would have not gone to rugby camp to Ireland and got some new friends from there, we would have not spent a nice holiday with our friends in France and we would have not seen my parents in Finland. 

I don't want my children to be afraid of life and afraid of making choices that can make them grow, bloom and get more open to the life. We can never do enough to please the world and we never stop feeling guilty if we just concentrate on the negative side of our time. I rather try and want to see the things that I do right. I want to continue seeing the beauty in life and believe in good developments. Things are getting complicated, more background information is needed even making a simple decision. For example what milk substance to buy?: amandelmilk, rice milk, cashew milk, oat milk ...which is the most ecological, the most tasty and the healthiest choice? Living with all the daily information is sometimes overwhelming. And many news are focused on just finding the problems and not the solutions.

In the end these are luxurious and small problems. The most of the people have much more heavier things to get over with, or live with. I just read that the amount of homeless people in Netherlands and Amsterdam have been growing a lot lately. That is sad. Many personal tragedies behind these stories and also a lack of affordable  apartments and shortage of suitable support for the people who are in risk to losing their homes. I see often an older man at the park nearby sleeping on a bench. He comes there regularly late in the evening and goes away the time that I normally wake up. He is a calm  man, seems to enjoy the peaceful spot by the water. I don't see him in the winter time, there must be a shelter where he goes in during  the cold months. Anyway my point is that this problem is excisting also in Amsterdam. While writing this I got a message from my husband who is for the first time in his life in India for a work. He is staying in Pune 130 km from Mumbai, the biggest city of India (18 miljoen people living in Mumbai). He says it's brutal to see the very poor areas where people are more or less living on the street, the endless looking slums around the cities. The scale of the poverty in our planet is huge. About 8% of the population is living in extreme poverty. The richest part has a chance to consider their use of money and use of power.I wish better choices for everyone.

Check out the growth of poverty in here: World poverty clock

My story seems to be more serious this time than I meant, but all these things have been bothering me last year. Maybe it is some sort of crisis, that I don't really know how I would like to spent the rest of my life. Getting more heavy, I know. I also see how much on performance our life is based on. How much we expect also from our children, how you have to prove yourself from the early years. So much focused on numbers and "hard working". The good feeling should be then the result of a hard work, reaching the set goals, getting more black on white prove on your history of existence. Maybe I am just jealous for the ones who did see it so clearly from the start and were so sure what they wanted. I have always been more like an observer, considering the different ways of seeing things and had difficulties to understand the black and white filter on issues. I often meet people that are very sure about their own opinions. Sometimes it seems to be like a blessing, easier to focus and stay on that one path. These frustrations I mentioned are normal in our modern world. If you have to struggle surviving from day to day instead, you don't have time for this soul search. 

The most happiness often comes from nonmaterial things if you're basic needs are filled (food, home etc.). I understand the importance of orientation for some goals in sake of mental happiness. At the moment I am searching for a good goal I think, something personal and with a good meaning.

What matters to me the most is my own family and the HOME. At the same time I feel that nowadays we share too little with others. I have started to see more and more value on those friendships that lasted the distance and difficult times too. They last even through our vulnerabilities, clumsy words and mistakes. But honestly said, I should put more effort on those friendships too. It is good for you and your family life - some outside kicks from great people!

modern architecture in Arles

Anyway, our trip to France with our friends was relaxing. The kids loved our swimming pool in Sausset les Pins and we spent a lot of time in our holiday house. One day we drove to Arles to see some history and feel the atmosphere of Provence from the other perspective. It was a wonderful day to walk the narrow streets and have a nice lunch on one of the old squares. Vincent van Cogh was spending a short and a very productive period in Arles and made many  of his famous paintings there. We were eating just beside the yellow house with a terrace, which you can see in one of his paintings(Cafe terrace at night). Now it is a touristic spot, but I let my mind to wonder over a hundred years back in time. South French light and colors have inspired so many artists. The combination of modernity and the history has always inspired me. I love to watch the modern architecture, but as much I appreciate the feel of the different layers of time. The word is full of magical stories and that magic I would like to feel more often.

Roman ruins

the Arena from Roman times in Arles

We spent the last pages of our summer in Finland, my original home. It is wonderful to feel the familiarity everywhere (especial in the nature) and meet the people you can in that short period of time. We stayed at a beautiful location near Sotkamo. I never get tired of the lake views: 24 hours of small, delightful surprises from the nature. My old friend came for a visit one day. She asked if I felt like home in Amsterdam? It was a difficult one. My soul landscapes are in Finland and I feel so easy there. I miss it sometimes enormously. But when we came back to Amsterdam I felt like HOME. Not because of the location, but because the family. Just knowing everyone is doing their thing and being there for everyone if needed and even when we want to be alone. The identity is changing through our experiences and this means staying curious is a good thing. Home is a place to find the balance between the crossing journeys and thoughts.

The most peaceful moments by the lake this summer

The home can mean different things and maybe there is just not one home. But home is a good and safe place to return. Having a break and seeing some other stories out there can help us feeling home right now and right here.

I know this place!

I know this place and I still love this place. Sometimes I miss the scenery and the quiet patchwork of the green countryside, the endless world behind the far away hills. I am visiting the town where I used to live 6 years in the Southern Germany. It is familiar, it is cosy and definitely a warm feeling to see the important places and the friends. After two days I could speak out my mind again with the german language and it felt I had never been away. Even the people, the familiar faces on the streets are asking did we move back. No, just visiting and enjoying the best parts of this very old town. And I know I do not want to come back to stay! It was the most important period of my life so far, teaching me a lot about myself and about my real needs and ambitions, facing the hidden parts of me. It was also a painful and vulnerable time, HAPPY, time of insecurity, but in the end I felt stronger than ever. We made the decision to go, even it was a difficult one and it turned out to be the turning point and the world was open again to discover. I felt free again. I left the hills behind me and the valley between was not my home anymore. It will always be part of me and I will be regularly coming here and I will see the same living picture book all over again. Being not part of this fairy tale anymore, jumped away from the pages and looking at the letters and the sentences and seeing everything differently. 

The view from the top of the Einkorn, the highest point in Schwäbisch Hall

Looking at the horizon gave me the feeling of freedom in Germany and now in Holland the beach has the same effect. Maybe I will be always looking for something, trying maybe to reach my roots. I have been growing some new connections, some new roots. The place can change, but the memory is collecting the details and the important people will be part of your life everywhere. They will not forget you and I will not forget them. 

It is wonderful, I am appreciating every moment here and I have still many spots to visit. I will be taking some pictures and collecting new moments and memories. 

I wish a great weekend to everybody, to you and to myself! 

Something silver, something blue!

Sometimes the best time for me to be a bit creative is in the evenings. When it gets darker I lose some of that self criticism which can make the whole creative process slower. Last night I spent two hours cutting, sewing and making something blue...I really felt the flow of  getting the idea and then making it happen without a big plan.

I like the thought of Up Cycling things and I already did in Germany some bags and clothes from the old fabrics that I found from flea markets. I also used some advertisement materials that were going to garbage bin. I still have quite a lot material to use for my ideas. Last night I had to create a cover for the sofa pillows from our terrace. There is a lack of storage space if you live in Amsterdam. The Houses hardly have extra rooms for keeping things just for fun. Good thing is that you have to get rid of stuff and keep only the things that you really need.

These sitting pillows I will need in next spring time!! Now I have them safe from storm and rain. I used some old jeans and light coloured silver fabric to create a nice extra seat for living room. Another one will come to our bedroom later. 

I'm reading often books in English, but this below is my secret language. I will skip the translating this time!

It is nice just to mix and match the materials you just happen to have in your closet. Then you have to use things that are already available...making the process more interesting and challenging. 

Now out and get some fresh air!

Back home

First time burning some candles this autumn and trying to find my woollen socks. The temperature outside is not really cold, but the moist weather type makes me feel chilly all the time. More hot drinks, more warm lights, more blankets, more books to read and more indoors. Still, the contrast of hot and cold makes the wintertime so inviting. After a walk outside, fighting against the wind and then arriving home! 

Silent (sometimes noisy) and safe spot...own space to live, love and think freely. Place where I'm welcome and where I want/can stay. We were visiting friends this evening and it was possible to stay over a night there. I was surprised that my son wanted to go home to sleep, but also happy that he is a HOME BOY. We are curious and also part of the life around us, but home is the base. I wish everybody had a home, but that is unfortunately not the case. Many reasons and many tragedies, many people without a safe home. Cycling in the darkness and arriving to our street...I felt lucky! Keys in my pocket, opening the door and turning on the lights.

I draw this picture above almost 20 years ago. I found it last summer from a cartoon box and hang it on the wall. I don't know what was the thought behind this drawing, but it reminds me in a way that it is important to not only stay still and just be a mask. The person needs to be seen and learn to communicate with others. Life has to be lived....in your own honest way.

Good night! Let's see what tomorrow brings. Something green in the end. I'm waiting for my magnolia to blossom, but I think it takes a little bit time. Has to be patient. I think magnolia suites better for the spring time, but I'm sure these flowers will look very elegant. 

My personal beach

I already thought to get prepared for the winter and pack my pillows   and move our grill to less windy spot at the terrace, but the indian summer is here. This means nice plans for the weekend. Maybe even driving to the beach.

 

In the Nederlands there are so nice Beach pavilions by the sea. Every one of them have their own personal, mostly relaxed and cool style. You can listen to some music and enjoy your drinks and meal with a view...it's like a mini holiday. I have tried to create a little bit that feeling on our roof terrace. 

The best way to enjoy is of course to spend time together with your loved ones or friends. Sometimes is also nice to chill alone a bit.

 

I like flowers, green plants and trees a lot...but I am not a very good gardener. My plants have to survive in hard conditions. I found a nice grass to plant for this summer and it loves to grow here. It also reminds me of dunes and strong type of grass which grows on windy spots.

I have also an olive tree which I bought six years ago from Germany. I am surprised how long friends we are. Still happy to see it getting new fresh leaves in every spring. Some other seasonal flowers I am buying every season and slowly getting to know which ones are suitable to my way of gardening. Getting better though!

Green with a little bit of blue. Small moments of the this beautiful week. 

Tot volgende keer! See you next time!