Tuesday 17 November 2015

Dear Helsinki

The longest period of my adulthood so far, I used to live in Helsinki - Finland. It is a place where I studied, got new friends, worked, learned to be independent, had fun, made mistakes and was trying to find out who I am. It was more like living in a moment and not worrying too much about the future. From that perspective the Future was often so far away. There was a big feeling of freedom.




I was shortly visiting Helsinki last weekend. I did not have time to see all my old friends, but there will be other times and places when & where we can see each other again. Walking beside the sea and seeing the houses and familiar spots made me happy. I did focus this time just spending time at Kaivopuisto, a park area near the sea, and did not really go to shopping streets. I just wanted to say "Hi" to my old home, Helsinki. I wanted to feel the strong wind, smell the fresh air and feel if there is still a sparkle between me and Helsinki.








The sea and being able to see the far away horizon are very important to me. At the same time I am a little bit afraid of the strength of the huge water element. Looking at the horizon and the endless movement of the sea can give hope and give a feeling everything is possible. This trip was a bit melancholic one and I think the big reason for that were the news  from Paris, which I heard just before my trip. That was partly the reason why I wanted to have walks by the sea and then go back to the safe home of my good friend. It felt I had never been away from Helsinki, like I could go next week again to see my friends and have a coffee at the old market hall. The tragedy is that the personal and common feeling of safety can be attacked by violence and hate. Everything can be changed in a very short moment, everything can be unfair. The emptiness behind the acts of war or terrorism, the selfish explanations behind hurting other people emotionally and physically or killing them...are sad




To find a connection again with yourself, with your real emotions, with your friends and family. Forgiveness, friendship, respect and being able to be happy for others or give help when it's needed.


The biggest gift for me, when I walked around in Helsinki alone and spent time with my friends..even had a big night out, was that I felt accepted as the person I am & how I understood again where I come from. It made me feel again a little insecure, because my deepest emotions were touched. I felt again the same way as I used to, like I was living in my home country again. The connection was not lost. 






I love the rocky landscape by the seaside in Helsinki. There are not as big sandy beaches like in Holland, but the meeting point of the rocks and the water is beautiful. The best spot to have a picnic in a warm season. I will be back more often, I promise!




Thank you Helsinki for being you and giving me good memories again!